The pandemic has been a stressful and horrific thing for everyone, and we have gone through a lot of adversity through it.  One thing I have learned from it is how to be happy with myself.

 

I must admit I have come out stronger.  I feel guilty saying this because I feel for all the families out there that have lost their jobs or have lost loved ones.  I am so sorry for your loss.

 

The pandemic helped me realize what is important in my life.  It helped me to reflect on some life decisions I have made.

 

I've started to see who really matters in my life. For me it's about finding myself and being happy with me and who I am as a person. I have learned that is the most important thing.

 

"Happiness Depends On Ourselves" - Aristotle

 

I want you to realize that no matter what is going on in your life, you are important.  You need to look out for yourself because to look out for others, you need to take care of yourself first since no one is going to do it for you.

 

You need to take time for yourself, even if it is just 5 minutes a day, whatever little bit of time you have for just you, giving yourself time to relax.  I want you to know no one else can make you happy but you.

 

Ironically, while writing this blog, I started reading a book called “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis.  I highly recommend it!  She talks about not believing the lie that we aren’t good enough. She is right - you are good enough.

 

No one is perfect even if we like to perceive ourselves as if we are, because when it comes down to it, we are all just human.  We all have our flaws.  It takes work to focus on yourself.  Another person can give you joy and add to your happiness but if you aren’t happy with you, another person can’t make you happy. 

 

You may be asking yourself.  “How can I be happy with myself?”

 

13 Steps to Be Happy with Yourself

1. Meditation

I recommend checking out the app Headspace (there is a fee, but if you don’t want to pay you can easily find a free app).  Meditation increases feel-good neurochemicals, as it reduces stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Just 15 minutes of meditation a day can help.  Here are just a few of the health benefits.

  • Reduces stress and anxiety.
  • Can help improve memory – it has shown to help people with cognitive decline that are at risk for getting Alzheimer’s and similar diseases.
  • Can help with high blood pressure, pain, and other physical health conditions.

 

2. Nature

Marie Kost - Little Wooden Bridge in The Woods 

Experiencing nature by going for a walk.  Looking at a piece of art or a photograph of nature for just 5 minutes is shown to improve health and help with stress.

 

 3. Do You, Don’t Compare Yourself – No One is Perfect

Theodore Roosevelt called comparison “the thief of joy,”.  There is some controversy on the subject of comparing yourself to others.  Be yourself - you shouldn’t try to be someone you are not, though sometimes comparing yourself to others can be a good thing and make you feel better about yourself.  It can make you feel hopeful or help you to want to make some self-improvements.  If it makes you feel bad, don’t do it and if it motivates you to improve on yourself, than it can be a good thing.

 

 4. Volunteering

Helping and giving to others is proven to make you feel better about yourself.  Just be aware not to overextend yourself.  Know your boundaries so you aren’t stressing yourself out and helping too much!  Remember to take care of you first.

 

 5. Going Out

Take yourself out on a date.  Yes, you heard me.  Take yourself out on a date.  Who says you need to have someone in your life to do something that you want to do?  If you haven’t done this before it might feel weird at first, but like anything the more you do it the more you get used to it.  Go out to that restaurant you want to try, go on a hike, go on a picnic, go to that movie, or go to the concert that you want to see.  I can tell you.  You can get a better seat at a concert if you buy a ticket for one person rather than for two and it's cheaper!

 

6. Take Care of Yourself – Exercise

It is proven that exercise is good for you and can make you feel better about yourself.  It gets those feel-good endorphins working for you.  A study found that an hour a day of low intensity exercise or as little as 15 minutes of higher-intensity exercise a day can improve your mood.  Man… that makes it hard to find an excuse not to exercise.  15 minutes, really?!  The study also found that getting up off the couch and moving helped improve mood.  So move that body!

 

 7. Being Thankful

Studies have shown that being thankful can make you feel better.  Making a small list everyday of 3 things you are thankful for no matter how little it is can make you feel better.  You could keep a journal and write it down every day or mentally make a list in your head or use a thankful jar (a clear glass container that you can throw sticky notes into after you write what you are thankful for) and keep it around the house somewhere that you pass by often so you can see all the things you are thankful for, no matter how small.  You can do this in the morning before you start your day or at the end of the day if that works better for you.  If you are having a bad day, go back into your journal or your thankful jar and read all the things you have been thankful for in the past. It might just make your day better!

 

8. Do Something Creative

Do something creative even if you don't think you're good at it.  It's about getting into a state where you are in your own world.  You forget about the world around you and concentrate on what you are working on at the time. Also known as "flow" which is a state of deep absorption in an activity, with such intense focus that we lose the sense of time. This can be anything from playing music, cooking, painting, wood working, sewing, and coloring.  According to Harvard, flow can be a potent route to happiness.

 

9. Treat Yourself

Do you have that special wine, coffee, chocolate, flowers, or bath bomb that you buy for a friend or a family member but would really like for yourself?  I give you permission to buy it for yourself!  You only live once so treat yourself occasionally.  You deserve to be treated just as much as the other person.  You shouldn’t have to wait for someone else to do it for you, or for a special occasion.

 

 10. Make Plans

Find something to look forward to.  Make plans to meet up with a friend.  Plan that trip you have been wanting to take.

 

 11. Stay Connected

We are social creatures so staying connected to friends and family is important.  Taking some time to send a text message or make a phone call if you feel like you need to connect with someone.  Don’t wait for someone to contact you.  There is nothing wrong with reaching out to someone else.  People get busy with their own lives and they don’t necessarily realize that you may need that connection.  Even if you work from home, messaging at work is important to stay connected to others - and this doesn’t mean just talking about work related stuff.  Ask someone how their weekend was, or how that date went.  Relationships are important.  It is part of our DNA and helps us to survive in what sometimes feels like a crazy world.

 

12. Forgive

Studies have shown that forgiveness has powerful health benefits.  The act of forgiveness doesn’t have to be just about forgiving someone else and letting them know.  You don’t have to let the other person know to forgive.  It can sometimes just be about making yourself feel better and not about making the other person feel better.  I’m sure you have heard of someone writing an email and never sending it.  Do whatever you need to do.  This is also about forgiving yourself - don't be so hard on yourself!  I have said this before, and I will say it again: no one is perfect.

 

13. Get a Good Night's Sleep

It is recommended you at least get 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night.  A study showed that a lack of sleep can increase risk of dementia and even death.  Yikes! Be sure to start counting those sheep or whatever you need to do to get a good amount of sleep.

 

Fun Facts

Here are some fun facts about some famous people that faced adversity.  What if they had given up?  The Bulls wouldn’t have won a gazillion NBA championships (okay so maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but still it was a lot!).  There wouldn’t be a Mickey Mouse, Disney World or Disneyland.  The Oprah show would have never existed.  There would be no beloved Harry Potter series.  There would be no songs like “Can’t Buy Me Love”, “Vogue”, “Thinking Out Loud”, and “Numb”.   Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough because you are.  Do you.

  • Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for not being creative enough,  Oprah Winfrey was fired and told she was "unfit for television news", and  J.K. Rowling was fired for brainstorming story ideas at her secretary job in London.

 

I think if the pandemic hadn’t come along...

...I wouldn’t have really reflected on myself and what makes me happy.  I kept absorbing myself with other things and distractions in my life.  I kept turning the corner, trying to find what makes me happy.

 

Art makes me whole when things in the world don’t seem very right.  I know another artist may describe the same thing, but it is a gift that is unexplainable and there is just this magic to it.  I love the Disney movie “Soul” because it reminds me of my love of art.

 

Art got me through the pandemic, making me able to deal with all the stresses that came with it.  Art takes me to my happy place where I don’t have to think about my worries; it is my flow.

 

I also have learned to reflect on the little things.  The sun, the flowers or that cup of coffee in the morning, that dessert, that Happy Birthday wish, or a friend texting to ask how you are doing.

 

Do You

I wanted to point out that the steps I have are just suggestions.  Pick and choose what you want to try and what works for you.  Everyone is unique and different.  What works for one person doesn’t always work for another.  Do you!

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Help

I also wanted to note that if the steps above seem overwhelming and life seems hopeless don’t be afraid to seek professional help.  Remember everyone needs help at some point in their lives-  and some more than others.  Don’t blame yourself, it isn’t your fault.  It isn’t necessarily something you can just get over.  Here are some signs that you may be dealing with depression:

  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Don’t wait to seek help, but if you’re having suicidal thoughts call a suicide hotline number — in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

 

What Makes You Happy?

Reflect on what makes you happy.  Find that happy place.  Take 15 minutes if you can and just think of what really makes you happy.  It can be something as simple as seeing your kids playing or your partner smile.  Maybe it is that delicious pizza or taco at your favorite food place down the street.  Sometimes it can just be the little things in life.

*HUGS*

Marie

Helping You Escape Daily Stress by Using Art to Relax

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